Fuck off Jalopnik

"Jayhawk Jake" (jayhawkjake) 02/03/2015 at 12:11 • Filed to: None

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Seriously, this article is such bullshit:

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We get it: Ford announced the Focus RS. But why does that dismiss the Corsa OPC? They aren't even remotely competitors. The Corsa is significantly smaller and in an entirely different class. It's a Fiesta competitor and guess what: it has more power than a Fiesta ST!

I'm not saying the Opel will be better than a Fiesta, but dismissing it because of an entirely unrelated car is stupid.

I've had enough of the Blue Oval circle jerk: we get it, they make hot hatches. Don't dismiss everyone else. Who knows, maybe the Corsa will surprise you. I know I'm interested to see how it stacks up to its competition.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:13

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THANK YOU.

They're doing the exact same thing as they did with the NSX and GT.

Party-vi > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:15

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I'm disinterested - it won't make it's way to our shores.

ly2v8-Brian > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:16

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Because it is about a GM vehicle. It is the unwritten rule of car blogs it seems to have every article about a GM vehicle to contain at least one of the following: sarcasm, pessimism, and bringing up the malaise era.

For Sweden > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:16

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The tongue in cheek was strong in that article

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > ly2v8-Brian 02/03/2015 at 12:17

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substitute GM with Lincoln....same thing.

Jonathan Harper > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:17

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They also make this:

Does Opel make one of those?

Jayhawk Jake > Party-vi 02/03/2015 at 12:17

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That's a fair point, but that's a better reason to dismiss it than 'ford has a more powerful car'

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:17

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Wouldn't it be an OVAL jerk?

Jayhawk Jake > Jonathan Harper 02/03/2015 at 12:19

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No, but GM makes this:

ly2v8-Brian > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 02/03/2015 at 12:20

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There's truth in that.

Jonathan Harper > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:20

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That's not an Opel!

But it would be kind of fucking amazing if there was an Opel branded Vette.

FromCanadaWithLove > Jonathan Harper 02/03/2015 at 12:21

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Nahh, it's cool man, power doesn't matter.

Hahayoustupidludditeshutupandgohandcrankyourmodeltalready > For Sweden 02/03/2015 at 12:22

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It seems that few were able to discern that.

Jayhawk Jake > Jonathan Harper 02/03/2015 at 12:23

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Like this, but awesomer:

Alex B > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 02/03/2015 at 12:24

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Brilliant

ly2v8-Brian > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 02/03/2015 at 12:24

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itschrome > Jonathan Harper 02/03/2015 at 12:26

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they made a car that looked like a mini Vette once.. does that count?

Party-vi > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:26

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I think his point is more along the lines of it being the worst time to release information about a new hot hatch since Ford just released the Focus RS, like Acura unveiling the new NSX the same time Ford pulled the covers off the new GT. Bad timing for Opel in Jason's mind.

Roundbadge > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 02/03/2015 at 12:26

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 > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:31

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It's a good looking hatch and all but we won't see it in Murica. Therefore zero fucks given.

yamahog > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:32

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Had to do a double-take, that's the wallpaper on one of my laptops.

Jonathan Harper > itschrome 02/03/2015 at 12:35

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Haha yes. Yes it can count.

Your boy, BJR > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 02/03/2015 at 12:42

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Only because Lincoln always has and always will suck every egg ever.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Your boy, BJR 02/03/2015 at 12:45

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I see you're a Cadillac man. I love Caddy's. Truly do.

That doesn't mean Lincolns are bad vehicles. I'm not trying to steal the show from the original post here, but Lincoln get's treated like shit in every Jalopnik review. They even openly say at the beginning of the post - I went into it expecting this car to suck, way to keep your bias in check and give us an honest review guys...

Sweet Trav > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:52

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The RS is an ugly duck. The OPC is sexy.

T5Killer > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 12:54

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HEAT SOAK!!!!

Your boy, BJR > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 02/03/2015 at 12:57

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I'll get this out of the way before getting to the argument I actually put thought into: Jalopnik in general is pretty shitty as of the past couple years. Pure yella jounalism.

But now for the meat: Lincoln needs to get their shit together, being better than them used to be a challenge! Hell, there was once or twice where they trumped Cadillac. But it shouldn't be just Cadillac carrying American Luxury around the world, Lincoln should be fighting right along side them. But they aren't. Ford is putting too much money into hatchbacks and neglecting what SHOULD be their flagship brand. It isn't FoMoCo v. GM anymore, it's Import v. Domestic, and Cadillac needs Lincoln to prove to the world once and for all the Germans are terrible people and can't do interesting style/luxury for shit!

C'mon ford! Cut it out with the boy racer hatchbacks and MAKE YOIR FLAGSHIP WORTHY AGAIN.

Jayhawk Jake > T5Killer 02/03/2015 at 12:58

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Maybe, but at least it actually exists

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Your boy, BJR 02/03/2015 at 13:04

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I agree about domestic vs import, I've always been this way.

A couple things. It should be Cadillac, Lincoln and Chrysler. Except Chrysler is more like Buick these days, at least Lincoln still wants to be considered full luxury.

Now, as for Lincoln. They are taking a different stance on luxury, who knows whether it will work or not (probably not). But their picture of luxury doesn't involve RWD, Manual Transmissions, or burn outs. They want old school cruiser luxury. Not performance based luxury.

Unfortunately there's this strange line of thinking that you have to be performance based luxury or it doesn't count. How many rich people just want a capable fancy ride? Those are the people they are targeting. The ones who will by a FWD JDM Luxury car are their target. Not the ones buying a 3 or 5 series BMW, that's Caddy's target.

Don't hate because they took a different direction. Lincoln's are great cars. They may not be what an enthusiast wants, but they are great cars.

bryan40oop > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 13:19

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I really don't care about the opel though..... Also, did you start your period today? You seem very angry. And being very angry on the internets is just silly. Especially on a automotive webthingy.

Jayhawk Jake > bryan40oop 02/03/2015 at 13:24

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Jeez, why is everyone getting their panties in a bunch about me being unfiltered and 'angry'

It's a rant. It's supposed to sound angry. I'm a perfectly happy person.

RallyWrench > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 13:40

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Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 13:52

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Living in the United States of Freedom** I couldn't give less of a shit about the Opel, but putting "nobody cares" in the title of your article about it is editorializing as fuck and a pretty shit thing to do at that.

Kanaric > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 15:14

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was expecting a Travis Okulski article and seeing actual annoying and offensive material. ended up reading an amusing Torch article

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 15:28

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Because it's not a Ford, you know how anything made by General Motors is received on this site. People are still bringing up recalls 8 FUCKING MONTHS AFTER. It's becoming a giant pain in the ass.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Your boy, BJR 02/03/2015 at 15:59

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Hey...

Your boy, BJR > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/03/2015 at 16:05

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hi

nafsucof > Sweet Trav 02/03/2015 at 16:21

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for a pug.

nafsucof > Jayhawk Jake 02/03/2015 at 16:22

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yeah that's a lotus.

Sweet Trav > nafsucof 02/04/2015 at 07:33

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At least it doesnt have a grille three times the size it needs with it cheaply and poorly filled in with black plastic. I own a ford. I like fords, however this is not one of their styling successes.

Why cant they just make the Aston-ish grille standard looking Focus with the ST/RS performance goodies underneath. I'd buy that car, but id never buy an ST/RS. Excuse me for being an adult professional who doesn't want to look like he's coming from a NOPI event everywhere he goes, or the shitty reputation in the community that comes with the ST badge.

nafsucof > Sweet Trav 02/04/2015 at 08:59

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whoa. It turned to calling me not a professional adult with a shitty reputation in the Jalopnik community? This does look like I'm coming from a NOPI EVENT doesn't it.

WHO SHIT IN YOUR CORNFLAKES? Why take my opinion about a car sold in Europe so personally?

Relax dude.

CalzoneGolem > nafsucof 02/04/2015 at 09:06

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Cumbys ftw.

nafsucof > CalzoneGolem 02/04/2015 at 09:07

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that's actually hot import nights. Lol

$1 coffees for everyone!

CalzoneGolem > nafsucof 02/04/2015 at 09:10

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$0.10 off a gallon of gas!

Sweet Trav > nafsucof 02/04/2015 at 10:51

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what I should have said was "excuse me Ford"

Not meant as a personal slight. Just frustration with Ford's marketing wizards.

around these parts the ST crowd is awful. Nothing but monster stickers and backwards baseball caps.

nafsucof > Sweet Trav 02/04/2015 at 15:06

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ech I'm sorry about those guys making us non bros look bad. It's not so bad in ct!

Leon711 > Party-vi 02/06/2015 at 04:00

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What if GM loses their shit and make it a Buick? you got the Insignia and Mokka.

Party-vi > Leon711 02/06/2015 at 08:42

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LOL if GM makes it a Buick they'll neuter it like they neutered the Regal GS (aka de-tuned Insignia OPC).